


I'll Be There

by Anonymous



Category: Guns N' Roses
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:42:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23830045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: His girl? Surely that was a joke. Although, he’d sounded pretty… Well, serious. But Izzy was about as likely to tie himself down like that as I was. We slept together, we drank together, and that was it.Wasn’t it?Christ, what was I, thirteen? I should just go in there now, and that would be the end of it. I clenched the keys in my hand, willed myself to stop eavesdropping and just burst in there. Slash’s warm-up riffs breezed through the crack in the door and my mind whirred for a second. We were both just getting laid, that was all. Not a big deal. I’d go in, drink my coffee and -- and I dropped the keys, turned on my heel and made a dash for the exit.(OR Izzy's girl gets in a tizzy about the fact that she might actually quite like Izzy, proceeds to hide for a week)
Relationships: Izzy Stradlin/Original Female Character
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13
Collections: Anonymous





	I'll Be There

“Iz, you haven’t seen my cigarettes, have you? I’m gaspin’.”

He craned his neck to look at me over the back of the couch and frowned, giving up strumming for a minute to think. “No? Take one of mine, I gotta get some more anyway.” He said, already patting down his pockets to find them.

“Ah, that’s alright.” I said, reaching down to stroke the hair out of his eyes absently. An image flashed through my mind of him a few hours ago, gently shaking me awake with a soft smile lingering as he hovered over me in bed. I wondered what he’d been thinking about to make him smile like that – it had been beautiful.

He was still watching me, eyebrows raised. “You sure?”

I pulled my hand away with a start and cleared my throat. “Mine are probably still in your car. Can I have the-“

A jangling set of keys appeared an inch in front of my face. I snatched them out of his hand and fought down a smile. “Thanks, smartarse. Be back in a mo.”

Quiet laughter followed me as I left the room. Daft cunt, I thought, allowing myself a grin. He was lucky he was so gorgeous. And sweet. And a bloody demon in the s-

I blinked and crashed right into Slash, almost dislodging the jug of coffee, cups and saucers stacked in his arms.

“Woah there! Watch the goods, hotshot!”

I rolled my eyes with a laugh, brushing past him towards the stairs. “Makin’ coffee, eh? You’ll make a great wife someday buddy!”

“Yeah, yeah, real fuckin’ funny. You want one?” He yelled back. I stuck a thumbs-up over my shoulder and raced on outside to find Izzy’s car.

***

The conversation inside the studio was drifting out into the corridor by the time I reached the top of the stairs again.

“Dude, didn’t I tell you no fuckin’ creamer?”

“Huh?”

Welp, good to know I hadn’t missed anything too important. I pulled out a cigarette and sparked up as I made my way closer, chuckling at the faint exasperation in Izzy’s voice.

“She won’t drink it like that, man. Just fill it up halfway and top it off with Jack.”

“Oh, so she _does_ take it black then? Knew I still had a chance with her.”

“Ey, keep it in your fuckin’ pants! That’s my girl you’re talkin’ about, asshole.”

I froze outside the door. What? I was right in earshot now, so I could clearly hear a long-suffering huff, the sofa creaking and the unmistakeable sound of an irritated Izzy Stradlin re-fixing a drink.

“Can you blame me? I mean really dude-“ A few muted licks on an acoustic breezed out into the hallway as Slash mumbled absentmindedly, “If you don’t tell her soon, somebody else will _gladly_ take your place. I’ll be first in the queue, believe me.”

I swallowed. _His girl?_ Surely that was a joke. Although, he’d sounded pretty… Well, serious. Surely, it was just a matter of staking his claim with the other guys – Izzy was about as likely to tie himself down like that as I was. We slept together, we drank together, and that was it.

Wasn’t it?

There was a muffled thump, and Slash yelped.

Christ, was I _still_ hovering like a fucking idiot behind the door. What was I, thirteen? I should just go in there now, and that would be the end of it. I clenched Izzy’s keys in my hand, willed myself to stop eavesdropping and just burst in there. Slash’s warm-up riffs breezed through the crack in the door and my mind whirred for a second. We were both just getting laid, that was all. Not a big deal. I’d go in, drink my coffee and -

\- and I dropped the keys, turned on my heel and dashed for the exit.

*****

It had been just over a week since I’d freaked out and ditched Izzy at the studio, and I’d done a stellar job of avoiding him since. My first thought leaving the studio had been to get as far away as possible– okay, so it wasn’t really a thought, more like blind panic. After walking about half way back to the first place that had occurred to me, Izzy’s place, I ran into an old co-worker called Suzy. Suzy had offered to put me up on her couch, and I’d quickly fallen into a depressingly repetitive routine there. She left for work each morning at eight so I’d spend the day alone, chasing sleep while I had the apartment to myself. There wasn’t much else do, besides smoking and working my way through her music collection. I’d eventually doze off, only to jerk awake again when the record skipped or a car drove by outside. I had let myself get way too used to sleeping curled up with Izzy, even just being near him, and now I was floundering.

It was a constant effort to keep my mind from coming back to him. Leaving had been an attempt to get away from all those stupid thoughts, to get a grip on my feelings. Relationships weren’t my thing – I knew this from experience. Every relationship I’d had in the past seemed to inevitably end in the other person getting hurt, and I definitely didn’t want that to happen here. Besides, I knew for a fact that Izzy didn’t want that kind of commitment either. Holing up at Suzy’s was just what I needed to remind myself of all this stuff.

In practice, however, it had somehow backfired. Now I was unable to think about anything else. Did he miss me? That seemed extremely unlikely. If anything he was probably relieved – I’d been leeching off him for too long already, crashing in his bed every night and eating up half of whatever he earned, giving the guys endless ammunition to tease him.

I mean, he would hardly be _upset_ to be rid of me.

Strangely though, the thought wasn’t comforting. Actually it made me feel a bit nauseous, to think about Izzy carrying on with his life like I’d never been a part of it. I was sure I’d get over it. I just hoped it wouldn’t take too long.

***

Suzy had a cut a deal with me - I could stay with her for as long as I liked, so long as I didn’t drink up all her booze, didn’t bring in drugs and managed to force down a meal with her every night. That last part in particular was deceptively tricky.

Between the stomach-twisting thoughts about Izzy and the fact that I hadn’t ingested _any_ form of booze or narcotics since I arrived at the apartment, I’d been really struggling with the ‘food’ bit of the deal. I’d spend about an hour trying to shovel down whatever takeout she’d picked up on her way home, while she grilled me relentlessly on what had happened with Izzy. I kept pretty tight-lipped about the whole thing – I could sort out my own mess myself, and all that - but, bless her, she was adamant that whatever it was, it could be fixed.

It had come to my attention, thanks to Suzy’s constant pestering, that most people actually thought I _was_ Izzy’s girlfriend. I couldn’t really wrap my head around it (or maybe I just didn’t want to), but to her it had been obvious:

“Well let’s see, you live together for one,”

I opened my mouth to argue but was immediately shut up by an unimpressed nod to my plate – still full. I heaved a sigh and scooped up another bite of noodles.

“You live together,” She started again, counting off each point on her fingers determinedly. “You go to all his shows. He drives you to work even if it means he has to cancel his plans, and he sits at the bar just to keep you company _all night_ until you clock out.” She paused there for effect, looking at me with her eyebrows raised up to her hairline. I put down my fork and gave her my best blank stare until she sighed and gave up. “Okay, what else… I mean, you’re always glued to each other. He _has_ to have an arm round you, or you’re cosied up on his lap – either that or you’re off somewhere fucking the living daylights out of each other in a closet or something!”

I rolled my eyes. “Come on Suze, he’s a touchy feely guy. He’s like that with everyone.”

Her jaw dropped. Okay, even I knew that was bullshit.

“Touchy feely? _Izzy Stradlin? …_ Are we talking about the same guy?”

She burst out laughing and I couldn’t help but join in. It was pretty ridiculous – I must be going round the bend if I’d begun blurting out that kind of bullshit. Hysterical laughter must have been her plan to catch me off guard because she immediately went back to questioning me, the sneaky cow.

“So how are you gonna explain it then, if you’re ‘ _not’_ his girlfriend?” God, were the bunny ears really necessary there?

I shoved her shoulder away from me, as she grinned over at me triumphantly. “The occasional hug doesn’t mean shit mate. And I can’t help it if the bar I work at _happens_ to serve the best drinks, can I? It’s not like he’s sat there on his own, the whole band comes down. And I don’t _ask_ him to drive me round all the time, do I?” I stopped. “Plus, I can’t help it if he’s a good shag.”

That wiped the grin off her face. She was silent for a minute. And then:

“Good lord, you really _are_ in denial.”

*****

I assumed that conversation convinced Suzy of two things:

1\. I really _was_ in denial.

2\. She was going to have to draft in outside help.

I assumed this because the next thing I knew, Axl was phoning me up.

“I need to speak to you – you’re worrying me Y/N. Okay? You got us all pretty worried.”

I frowned. Well, what the fuck did that mean?

“The fuck does _that_ mean, mate?”

“Uh, well you fuckin’ disappeared man! Nobody knows where you are for like, a week. Poof, gone! All that’s left is a set of fuckin’ car keys on the floor! You wouldn’t be worried?”

I cleared my throat. “Well, you know now don’t you?”

He sighed and I could hear him gearing up to speak again. “Y/N/N, you gotta talk to Izzy. He’s goin’ cr-“

I slammed the phone back on the receiver and gritted my teeth.

Why wasn’t it clear? I was doing the guy a fucking favour! I’d wasted a whole week wallowing in Suzy’s lounge, no doubt driving her mad! I’d be lucky to still have a job after this, having not turned up in case I saw Izzy. And it hadn’t even made a fucking difference – apparently, I’d still managed to upset him somehow.

I heaved a sigh and desperately fought down the desire to start smashing up everything in sight. I’d already fucked up a week of Suzy’s time just by hanging around. It would just be plain nasty to go and destroy her home on top of that ‘cause I couldn’t keep a handle on my emotions.

Best not to give myself the option, I figured. I marched out through the front door, rooting around in my pockets for a pack of smokes on the way. The sun was glaring off the few cars parked up and down the street. It was more or less empty – everyone was at work, I thought sourly. What a fucking idiot.

I slumped down on the front step and pitched my head into my hands. It was starting to feel more and more like instead of fixing anything (distancing myself in the vain hope that these stupid feelings would go away) I’d hugely fucked this up. "You got us _all_ worried”, Axl had said. That meant Izzy was worried too, God knew why. “He’s going crazy.” I scrubbed my eyes and considered the idea for a second.

He worried about me. Which meant he probably cared about me. I blew out a breath – that was enough thinking about _that_.

I fished out a cig and was just patting my pockets down for a lighter, when a loud screech broke off the thought completely.

A car had just pulled up on the curb in front of me. I squinted at it through the dazzling sunlight, and wished I’d brought a pair of sunglasses outside with me. The light flashed as the driver’s door opened and – well, you’ve probably already guessed.

Izzy stepped out. He eyes locked onto mine. Axl might have been right about the “going crazy” thing, I thought, because he looked like he’d slept about as little as I had.

“Axl told me you were here. He said he’d tell you I was comin’.” His voice was tense, almost like he was nervous. Or maybe he was just really pissed off. I swallowed and rooted my gaze on the pavement under my bare feet.

“Hung up on him.” I mumbled. I risked a glance upwards just to catch him huff in amusement. So, not pissed off apparently. He dropped down, suddenly, to sit on the step next to me; his legs were bunched up beneath him, forearms folded over his knees, and he turned his face to look at me.

“You alright?”

I drew in a long breath and started chewing on my lip. This was probably the bit where I explained what the fuck I’d been doing this whole week. I didn’t even know where to start. I cleared my throat and opened my mouth, hoping that whatever nonsense I spewed out would be enough, when he cut me off.

“I know you don’t wanna hear this Y/N/N.” He murmured, and fixed his eyes on something across the street. “I just –“ He sighed forcefully, as if to steel himself, and then, quietly: “I don’t like it when you fuckin’ disappear and I don’t hear from you. I don’t like wakin’ up and you’re not there.” Hang on… What? “I don’t like that fucking _Axl_ knows more about what you’re doin’ than I do, alright? I –“ He brought a hand over his face for a moment. I could feel the panic rising in my throat - what was he _saying_? His eyes flickered over me, before darting away again. “I want you Y/N/N. All the fuckin’ time, I want you with me.”

Then he was silent. I stared in shock. Was that how he’d felt this whole time? If it was… Jesus, I’d been such a bitch to him. After all that, he’d still turned up here, just to tell me that he…

A rush of guilt came over me. How had I managed to ignore it?

 _This_ was the Izzy who had patched me up and ruffled my hair when Duff and I launched ourselves down a set of stairs ‘for a laugh’ after a few too many. This was the Izzy who shared his secret dopey little smile with me when I went to work in his shirt. The Izzy who pulled me out of every fight, only to jump right in and take my place “out of principle”; who grinned when he saw me, as if he just couldn’t help it.

This Izzy had held me all night; woke me up when I was screaming and thrashing loud enough to wake up his neighbours, stuck in looping visions of the past. The Izzy who never asked why.

Izzy who had worried.

Izzy who cared about me.

My head span, and suddenly I realised I was speaking: “-the same. You’re right Iz, I don’t wanna hear _any_ of that crap. But -” Oh god, what was I _saying_? I felt his eyes bore into me but I kept mine glued straight ahead. I couldn’t look at him while I said this, “- I’m the same. I sleep when you’re with me, and, and I can’t do that with anybody else. Jesus Iz, I can’t sleep when there’s someone else in the same _room_ , let alone the same bed. And with you, I just - I sleep like a fuckin’ _baby_ , and then I wake up and you’re fuckin’, you’re holding me all tight to you, and - and it fucking _sucks_ Izzy! I can’t sleep when you’re _not_ there now! Do you get how fucking _fucked up_ that is?!”

I stopped, gulping in air, and immediately wondered if I’d read this whole thing wrong. His hand landed on my back, and I gasped, jumped about a foot in air. He chuckled softly and started stroking down my spine, rubbing wide circles over my shoulders. I let out a breath, and looked over to see him gently smiling, softly like he didn’t even realise he was doing it.

I leaned into him and his arm snaked further round me, pulling me closer until I was squished right up next him, wrapped up in him. He sighed and settled the side of his head against mine.

“It's alright.” He muttered in a low voice, just for me to hear.

“I’m sorry for leaving. I got freaked out, and –“ I turned a little to face him and he gazed down at me, his face serious. “I turn into a real bitch when it comes to all that emotional shit.”

He grinned. “I know, I noticed.”

I gasped and jammed an elbow into his ribs. “Hey, only I get to say that! Cheeky git!” He sniggered, and then suddenly we were both laughing uncontrollably, leaning into each other and cackling together.

We stayed there like that, just talking and laughing, until we ran out of things to laugh about and cigarettes to smoke. We sat in silence for a while, still leant up against each other, Izzy’s arm tucking me tightly into his side. The sun was beginning to droop behind the buildings so he had shrugged off his jacket to lay over my legs – I was still just dressed in an old pyjama shirt of Suzy’s. She hadn’t got home yet, and I was starting to wonder what time it was when he piped up again.

“You workin’ tonight?” He asked quietly, as if to avoid breaking the strange calm that had settled over us.

I fiddled with his hand in my lap as I thought about it. It was a Friday, which would usually have meant there was a seven hour shift waiting for me behind the bar, but I had a feeling they wouldn’t be expecting me, seeing as I’d gone off the radar for a week. “Nope.” I said finally, “Why?”

He shifted slightly to rest his chin on my shoulder. “Got that gig at the Roxy. You gonna come?”

“You want me to?” I twisted slightly to find Izzy already watching me; the corner of his mouth turned up slightly in amusement.

“Is that a _serious_ question?” I chuckled, and he dipped his head slightly to kiss me, murmuring against my lips, “I think we’ve established that I want you, honey.”

I let my gaze fell back down to his hand. His thumb was smoothing back and forth over my palm, and something warm washed over me.

“Yeah, I’ll be there.” I paused, still softly smiling. “S’long as I’m not payin’ for the fuckin’ ticket.”

**Author's Note:**

> First bit of writing! Leave a comment if you have anything to chip in :)  
> Also, couldn't think of a name for the OC so i just left it as classic ol' reader insert


End file.
